The Push and Pull of Power, by Kinlen Wheeler

We have been discussing the second Gateway on the Journey of Enlightenment: Empowerment. Along with new feelings of empowerment in this step of the journey, many people find that they become more aware of the energy of power in relationships.

You’ve probably noticed that in some conversations you can feel the other person pushing energy at you. Typically, it is in the form of trying to persuade you. Think back to a time when someone wanted to convince you that their idea was the best and you should follow it, or approve of it, etc…

Can you feel the sense of pushing? And how about with yourself? Can you remember a time when you were the one pushing energy?

The journey is always about our own behavior, and not others. However, we can typically see in others, what we cannot quite see in ourselves.  So no need to try to help a friend become less pushy with power. It’s about recognizing how you use your energy in relationships.

How about pulling energy? Can you think of a time when you tried to get attention or energy of support from another person? Surely you can think of someone who is an energy drainer. Can you think of a time when you were drawing on someone else’s energy?

Another energy exchange can be giving your power away. When you don’t share an opinion you’d like to share, or you don’t participate in decision making, you can be giving your power away. For people who have suffered physical or psychological abuse, giving power away may be the only option for survival.

Giving power away can persist into adulthood, even where there is no threat. It can be a habit, or a learned behavior that becomes unconscious. I had a client who was terribly afraid of her own power, because she didn’t want to become abusive like her father. She didn’t realize she was choosing to give her power away, even in the loving relationship she was currently in.

When moving through the Pathway of Enlightenment, it is really important to become clean with our energy. That means to own our own energy by not giving it away to others, and to not push or pull others energetically.

The push and pull of power is a fascinating part of human behavior. Congratulations if you can see where you have pushed and pulled, or given energy away. That is a huge step forward in the journey to a happier, healthier life.

Next Blog post will be about Clean Energy.

The Gateway of Empowerment, by Kinlen Wheeler

As you become conscious of the choices you are making, you may find yourself asking, “Where did that choice come from?”  Maybe you are looking at changing jobs, and you find yourself looking at jobs that you don’t really like, but you think are the right way to go.

Ask yourself, what is right about the job?

You may find that you are leaning towards it because it has certain qualities. Maybe the job would be secure, or makes a lot of money, or has high prestige. Feel into what is underneath the initial reasons to consider that job.

Also, ask yourself, “Where did the importance of that quality come from?” You might find that your parents valued security, or some other aspect of the job. Or some other person who you looked up to in your life.

From there you can ask yourself, “Do I really believe that security is important?” Maybe yes, maybe no. Either way, you are finding your way closer to owning what you want.

If, for example security (or some other quality) isn’t that important to you, or you don’t really believe security is that real these days, then you can decide to release that aspect of the jobs you are looking at. This will free you up to look for qualities in your new job, that are more meaningful for you personally.

This practice can help you through the new experience of making choices for yourself.

It’s the same for any choice you are making… job, relationship, behavior, how you load the dishwasher!

Enjoy watching your choices this week, and becoming more conscious of what the underlying values are for each choice.

My next Blog post will be about the Push and Pull of Power.

Taking the Reins in Your Own Hands, by Kinlen Wheeler

So we have started down the path of the Journey of Enlightenment.

Let’s take the next step, into Empowerment. It has multiple aspects, and will be worth spending a few posts on.

As we come through the portal of growth into Empowerment, we begin to really understand that the world isn’t just happening to us. We are making choices about partners, parenting style, jobs, how busy we will be, how we treat friends, and more. Everything really.

Many of us would have been following the shoulds we learned growing up to make those decisions. The rationale is, “If I follow the shoulds I should be happy”, or “if nothing else, no one can blame me if I’m not happy”.

Taking the reins in your own hands, making your own decisions can be intense. Some of your choices may not be popular with your friends and family. Some of your choices will certainly impact others. For example, if I make a choice to find a new job, my partner may also be impacted by having less money around until I figure it out. Or if I start reading about another parenting style, my family may not be supportive.

You might be asking, “What if I don’t like what I choose?” My answer to that is

You can always choose again

In my household we call it do-overs. We make room to try on something new, and see how it works. It can even work in talking with each other. If something comes out of my mouth that is not as kind as I would have liked, I will say, “That didn’t come out right. Let me have a do over”. Then I can recalibrate my message and my manor, and try it again.

Look at the choices you are making today. Ask yourself, “What do I want to see happen here?”. “What do I want for myself?” Then take baby steps: one decision, one choice at a time.

If you’d like to see my film, The Journey of Enlightenment, it is on our website here. Currently, I am writing a book about the Journey, which is even more in depth and interactive.

The Journey of Enlightenment, by Kinlen Wheeler

The new website is up! And with it I am happily sharing insights about the Journey of Enlightenment.

What an amazing unfolding of personal growth we are all on. And while it is personal and unique for each person, there are also milestones or portals of growth that each of us must master in order to continue.

In the first portal of growth, we begin to move from thinking the world is happening to us, to recognizing that we are making decisions that impact what comes into our life. Taking responsibility for those decisions sets us on an exciting path. If we choose, we can continue on that path, to discover our personal freedom and power in the world.

You can recognize that you are in a portal when you know what you are currently doing is not working, or not a big enough a way of understanding, that you must look for something new, bigger.

If you have been through some of the portals, you may have also experienced some uncertainty as you leave the comfort of a known way of being; to taking steps in a whole new way.

Often, as we leave old patterns behind and begin to step through the portal, we do not know where we will find ground on the other side.

Many of you have probably already taken this first step, and come into empowerment in your lives. Hopefully putting it into words helps solidify your understanding of it, and gives you language to share the experience with others.